You call it chivalry / never pull a punch for free // Literarily just a swarm of B's

* * * B-B-B-BOOK TIME BABY * * *

Me: Regular access to a library, ehhhh?
Me: *slowly buries self in a cumulative avalanche of books and media*

Me: This is my nest, I live here now.

Talk nonsense, but

talk your own nonsense,

and I'll kiss you for it.

To go wrong in one's own way

is better than to go right in someone else's.

In the first case

you are a man,

in the second you're

no better than a bird.

Truth won't escape you, but

life can be cramped.

! SO GOOD !

* * * Quotes! (Emphasis mine) * * *

"Women's liberation has often been portrayed as a movement intent on encroaching upon or taking power and privilege away from men, as though in some dismal zero-sum game, only one gender at a time could be free and powerful. But we are free together or slaves together."

* * *

"She [Susan Sontag] was making the case that we should resist on principle, even though it might be futile. I had just begun trying to make the case for hope in writing, and I argued that you don't know if your actions are futile; that you don't have the memory of the future; that the future is indeed dark, which is the best thing it could be; and that, in the end, we always act in the dark. The effects of your actions may unfold in ways you cannot foresee or even imagine."

 * * *

"The worst criticism seeks to have the last word and leave the rest of us in silence; the best opens up an exchange that need never end"

* * *

"It takes time. There are milestones, but so many people are traveling along that road at their own pace, and some come along later, and others are trying to stop everyone who's moving forward, and a few are marching backward or are confused about what direction they should go in. Even in our own lives we regress, fail, continue, try again, get lost, and sometimes make a great leap, find what we didn't know we were looking for, and yet continue to contain contradictions for generations."

* * *

"Women are an eternal subject, which is a lot like being subjected, or subjugated, or a subject nation, even. There are comparatively few articles about  whether men are happy or why their marriages also fail or how nice or not their bodies are, even the movie-star bodies. They are the gender that commits the great majority of crime, particularly violent crime, and they are the majority of suicides as well. American men are falling behind women in attending college, and have fallen farther in the current economic depression than women, which you'd think would make them interesting subjects of inquiry.

I think the future of something we may no longer call feminism must include a deeper inquiry into men. Feminism sought and seeks to change the whole human world; many men are on board with the project, but how it benefits men, and in what ways the status quo damages men as well, could bear far more thought. As could an inquiry into the men perpetrating most of the violence, the threats, the hatred--the riot squad of the volunteer police force--and the culture that encourages them. Or perhaps this inquiry has begun." 

* * *

* * * ( Non-book junk ) * * *

I don't know what the deal is. Had a rough few days with some ~BIG STUFF~ going down, and got kind of knocked on my ass by all that. I'm going to buckle down on not drinking again -- it always leaves me worse off, even if it seems alright for the most part. Sunday was a mixed bag; almost didn't make it to work (but did) and then was panicking about a big conversation with my folks (which went well overall but still left me pretty burnt out, as did the visit with my grandparents -- a similar mix of good+stressful).
In retrospect I shouldn't have piled allllll that stuff on to my brain the evening before something ELSE I was incredibly nervous about, namely my appointment to see about potential medication. That... was kind of awful. I was already a bit of a wreck that morning (still had a hard time making it into work, very much over-worrying about logistics, etc), and I don't know if I would have followed through if I hadn't had a friend there for backup. Reading up on the medications I'm optimistic about trying them, but I... was just incredibly uncomfortable at that clinic and really, really don't want to go back. I'm going to talk to my therapist on Friday and see if we can figure something else out, but...man, fuck that noise.
Today's off to a better start (and MUCH better mood/outlook-wise) but overall I just feel emotionally exhausted -- hopeful, but also like I could sleep like a brick for a week.

tend to wonder why