I found out that my Grandma's not doing so well. She hasn't been eating or taking care of herself, and everyone's pretty freaked out about it. I feel really helpless about the whole thing -- I was trying to think of something I could do to help, but I honestly don't know how. I'm working on a picture for her, but I don't know if it'll help or not... we have very different interpretations of the world, and it makes me unsure how to comfort her because I know that what I personally find comforting is kind of odd anyway, and might...I don't know, unsettle her? Maybe it's that I want to talk to her about what she's going through, but our established relationship dynamic kind of prevents me from that. Anyway, the helplessness makes me really fucking annoyed with myself. Actually, I guess the helplessness just kind of adds to the stack at this point. What the fuck, self? What the fuck are you doing.
Gahhhhh.
(We all go through it together,
but we all go at it alone)
And I don't want to fence you --
I know that I sense you
have someone else's heart.
And I have a sliver of love now;
I won't push and shove now
(I hope you come around).
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